ALEXANDRA SWANSON

Yo, what’s up guys!? 

It’s been a minute. 

How has life in the q been treating ya? 

It has been a rollercoaster ride for me, that’s for damn sure. And sadly, I’m sure this narrative resonates with many of you reading this. 

But hey — we made it to today! That’s a plus!! 

Anyway, life has been weird for everyone. 

I wouldn’t say I struggle with change, but I do have trouble with time management when structures are absent. 

I fuck around with my time. Not always, I promise!! 

When I’m on my shit and being productive, I’m really on it.

On the flip side, however, when I am sloppy with my schedules and routines, I am a total mess. 

During my time in quarantine, I have been telling myself I will read more. 

The book I am currently reading is by one of my OG Youtube faves, Meghan Rienks.

It’s “somewhat” of a memoir titled You’re Not Special. 

Of course I needed to read it.

I have been enjoying it. Meghan writes in a very conversational tone, similar to the one I try to emulate in my writing. 

This book is written as a walkthrough of Meghan’s life lessons essentially. 

I think I am enjoying it so much because I want to write a book in a similar style. This one is sparking a million ideas for my piece!

Today I read chapter 19, depression, which inspired me actually to begin writing this!

Mental illness is a stigma. WHY?

In reality, everyone knows someone who suffers from or has a friend/relative suffering from depression, anxiety, or another ‘mental illnesses.’ 

Yet if someone mentions the concept, heads turn. 

In the chapter, Meghan recounts her spiral to the lowest point of her depression, and her inability to mask it any longer. 

At the time, Meghan was a sophomore in college having issues with her ‘bestie’ roommates from the previous year and feeling like an outsider among her Greek life ‘sisters’. A tale I know too well. 

With Youtube being her career, she couldn’t fake a smile in front of the camera anymore. 

What did she do? She told her audience what was up. 

That’s brave. 

What is even more admirable about her choice to be transparent is that she kept along her mental health journey. 

I use the term journey specifically because it is continuous. 

I used to think that at some time I won’t be sad anymore. 

That was naive. 

However, what I have learned is that it is more important for good days to outweigh bad ones.

Here I am, being authentic, and telling you guys that I too am depressed. 

I’m sure a lot of you reading this are! 

It is okay to talk about it. 

It is okay to own that aspect of yourself. 

It is nothing to be ashamed of. 

It is okay not to be okay!!! 

I needed to write this post to remind myself of that. I’m here telling you guys too!! 

If you’ve read this far, take a minute to understand that whether you see it or not, you are fantastic for being alive right now. 

Times get hard, and seasons get dark. Each moment is a gift.